I am mindful to note that this is a bit of a new phenomenon. I’ve found no clear historical background of emotional purity, like there is for physical purity for example… and likewise, no dictionary definition. For this reason, I’ve defined these two concepts separately. I failed to find an absolute definition of this term.
- Definition of emotion[al]; emotion is any CONSCIOUS experience characterised by intense mental activity + a high degree of pleasure. (Wikipedia)
- Oxford Dictionary; Emotional: related to a person’s emotions.
- Definition of purity: the absence of impurity; the absence of vice in human character. Vice = bad, unhealthy habits. The condition or quality of being pure. Freedom from anything that debases, contaminates, pollutes, etc. (Combination of sources).
When it comes to emotional purity, one thing to consider is; whatever you consider physical purity, emotional purity looks like
NOT allowing your emotions to get engaged in where you won’t let your body go.
Why is this important?
Our emotions are located in our soul, not our body… so if we pursue physical purity, but fail to guard against the purity of our hearts, and our emotions; then we have failed to consider a huge part of purity. It becomes like having a beautiful vase, which you are careful to clean diligently on the outside, yet negligent to ensure that the inside of the vase is in the same condition – yet it is inside where the flowers are kept. It is inside when our emotions reside.
So I’m here to suggest that emotional purity should take the same precedent (and priority) in your life, as physical purity.
Contemplate that for a minute.
What does it look like?
Emotional purity looks like renewing your mind (our minds are also located in our soul) – so you are not pondering on yesterday’s conversation with Ted & how amazing it made you feel, or how great his hugs are. Renew that mind daily, Romans 12:1-2.
It looks like guarding your heart. Proverbs 4:23. This is important when it comes to emotional purity, that you are able to guard against having your heart open to all sorts of emotional engagements. In order to avoid all sorts of unnecessary issues, a guarding of your heart is highly recommended.
It looks like Philippians 4:8, thinking on the right things, meditating, allowing your mind to be filled with godly attributes, as opposed to how you’re currently feeling emotionally.
It looks like being honest with yourself about how you’re feeling – and in doing that, not entertaining the emotions, but praying and submitting them to God. This is something I literally had to do myself about 3 years ago when I realised I started to have feelings for my current boyfriend… I was like ‘wow, what… God… I never experred it. I submit these feelings to you – help me to relate to him as a friend, as I have been used to‘ (Shaneka 2015).
Another important thing, is continuing to relate to said person as a friend, like you always have done. Don’t get carried away, don’t run away with the idea of liking them and what flowers you are going to have at your wedding. … or in simple terms; not allowing yourself to entertain your emotions to the extent that you’ve built up a slightly different/more favourable picture of this person in your mind (in relation to you).
Avoiding (un/consciously) allowing this person/people (it is possible to form an emotional attachment to more than one person) to make unrequited deposits in your emotional love bank. What does this look like? Having them meet your emotional needs, e.g. sharing some of the things you’re going through with them as a means to feel loved/cared about.
Sometimes you might need to restrict yourself from hugging guys/girls in order to avoid building an emotional attachment to their hug. Or maybe for you, side-hugging is an option.
One thing to be mindful of (no pun intended, lol) is that by their nature/design, emotions fluctuate! So at any given moment those feelings/emotions may not be/feel as intense as they originally appeared.
So, emotional purity… here we are. Some of you would agree with me & the points I have shared today.
Some of you wouldn’t have given much thought to this in the past. Be mindful that it is a legit thing, and consider how you attach yourselves to others emotionally and the impact that this has on the relationships in your life.
- Should you be sharing things with Johnny, which, ultimately require the counsel of a wise female..?
- Should you be the first port of call for Lisa when you have a wife who, needs you to carry her emotionally..?
Although this piece is not written from someone who is an advocate of unwarranted emotional attachments, I can’t say who’s right or wrong… but, I can encourage you to take a look at the impact of the emotional attachments in your own life, and how necessary and profitable they are. From there, you can assess the situation.
Peace out folk + thanks for reading!! 🙂
Check out my previous post entitled, Why I Love Emotions…